SMILE-it’s a good life

1) Did you fart, cuz you blow me away!

2) Did it hurt when you feel from heaven cuz you must be an angel!

3) If at any point during the night you feel the need to make-out with anyone, I’m there for you!

4) Are you tired cuz you been running through my mind all day!

5) Do you have a map, cuz I’m getting lost in your eyes!

6) I think I dropped something, o yea, my jaw!

7) If I followed you home, would you keep me?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together!

9) Your daddy must have been a baker, cuz you got a nice set of buns!

10) Your name must be Mickey cuz you fine!

11) Do you like raisins? How about a date?

12) Do you know karate cuz your body is kickin!

13) If you were a bugger I’d pick you first!

14) Do you have a library card cuz I’d like to check you out!

15) Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

16) Baby, you must be a broom cuz you just swept me off my feet!

17) If I got a nickle for every time I saw someone as cute as you, I’d have 5 cents!

18) Are you a parking ticket cuz you’ve got FINE written all over you!

19) Is your name Gillette cuz your the best a guy can get!

20) Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?

As hilarious as these pickup lines are, they rarely work.  Shocking, I know.  Why are there so many if they rarely work? I’m not sure, but I think that they are used as jokes more than pickup lines.  I don’t think I have ever heard anyone go up to a complete stranger and tell them one of these.  The only time I have ever heard or used these are between friends.  They are funny.  People like things that are funny so people like these lines.  They give you a good laugh.  I am going to leave you all with a challenge.  I want you all to go up to a complete stranger and tell them your favorite line from the above list.  Comment back to me what line you used and if it worked or of the persons reaction.  I am curious to see how many of you are willing to possibly make a complete fool of yourself, but more importantly, if they are more successful than I think they are.

All that stands between the net and the ball is me

The only chance of winning is if I am able to stop the ball from rolling down the whitemesh
The opposition walks on the grass, crunching it beneath her feet

She is probably just as nervous as I am, because she knows if she misses, I win

She spins the ball a few times and rubs it for good luck before placing it on the little white line that represents the twelve yards between winning and losing

She slowly backs away from the ball, ready to strike as I take a deep breath and stradle my nerves and the reff gets ready to blow the whistle

It seems like and eternity

The nerves are climbing up my body slowly crippling my confidence
What if I don’t make an easy save and we lose

I take a deep breath and started to stop the nerves from reaching my heart, for I know that as soon as they did, all hope for my team would be lost

I am on the line, the reff blows the wistles

She quickly diverts her eyes to the left corner, and I read her like a map

As she strikes the ball with the muddy white laces of her cleats, the ball starts moving towards the left corner

I move with the ball

I take a quick step and then dive with all of my heart at the sphere of happiness and dread

My right arm extends further than my left

With my fingertips, I shove the ball away from the goal it was so desperately trying to get to

I hit the ground hard, but I don’t feel a thing

I get up and run to my team

It was an instinct

As the 17 bodies of my team collided, we became one

An unstoppable mass of love for eachother, winning and most of all: the game 

Why do we feel the need to fight

To go to war even when its not right

To shoot and kill another man

To kill him is to ruin God’s plan

    ~    *    ~    *    ~ 

Why do we kill the innocent ones

The ones who turn and have no guns

Sometimes children are on this losing side

We shoot at them while they try to run and hide 

    ~    *    ~    *    ~

Why do we even go to war

And with a sudden bang close the door

The door of calmeness the door of peace

Why do we keep shooting instead of making it cease

She stoped. Her breath was the only thing keeping her alive. She opened her mouth to scream, but nothing came out. Her mind said Run Amber! You gotta run if you have any chance of living! but her legs were paralyzed in fear. She just stood there, waiting for that fear to creep up her whole body and engulf her heart and kill her before Kyle would have the chance. She turned to run, but Kyle reached out with a firm hand and stopped her.

” I do love you Amber, so I am going to give you a little bit of a chance. If you tell me all about your new lover, I will give you another option.”

” Fine, I will tell you about Ray Brown. He is tall, with brown hair and brown eyes. He has the best smile I have ever seen. He has a dimple on his left cheek. He has ripped abs. He is smart and funny and kind and sweet and determined and athletic and faithful. We have been dating for almost a year now, and I think I might love him.”

As Amber spoke, Kyle had grabbed a piece of paper and a pen and wrote down what she had said. He slowly folded the paper and put it in the pocket of his black sweats before placing the knife on the kitchen table and sitting down on the coach.

“Come here Amber. I don’t have any knifes. You can check me if you want.”

“I believe you, I won’t need to check.”

“CHECK!!!”

Amber frantickly scrambled over to Kyle and started to pat him down, careful of where she put her hands as to not give him any ideas. Even without a knife, it would be easy for Kyle to kill her, and she knew that. He was strong in high school and even now she could see his biceps bulging even with a sweatshirt on. She would be easily overpowered.

“Sit down,” Klye said as he patted on the smooth black leather next him.

Amber hesitated. She took a seat, careful not to touch him as she sat down. All that caution was soon wasted as Kyle forced his arm around her and pulled her close. She tried to jerk away, but he was to strong. As soon as Amber stopped struggling, Kyle relaxed his arm.

“You have two options. It doesn’t matter which one you choose, they will both end in the same result. You will be dead. I am doing this through pure love…”

“What…” Amber gasped. Then her voice became stronger and more defiant. “If you truely loved me, you wouldn’t kill me! If you truely loved me, you…, you would let me be with Ray because you would want what was best for ME! No, you don’t truely love me, I was just the only girl who ever gave you a chance and now that no girl will even look at you, you think that I am the one, but I’m not! Please Kyle, this is not about you loving me or even knowing me, this is about you being a sick and twisted guy who needs to kill the only thing that gets close to his heart!”

Kyle just sat and listened. He had no reaction whatsoever. Amber had hoped that her little speech would make him leave her alone, but it didn’t make him waver one bit.

“Are you ready to hear your options?” Kyle said in a chilling tone. Amber did nothing but give a curt nod. “Good. Option 1, you let me kill you right here. I’ll get it over with a quick stab to the heart so you can go to heaven. Option 2, you can run. You can tell the police, move, get your name changed, whatever you please. But I will find you and when I do, I will kill you slowly and painfully, until you are begging me to end it. So Amber, what will it be?”

Amber didn’t even answer. She grabbed her dog and car keys and sprinted to her car without turning back once. She was going to go to the police and give Kyle a taste of his own medicine.

*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!TO BE CONTINUED!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*!*