SMILE-it’s a good life

     She woke with a start. She was hot and sweaty, her blood boiling in her veins. She took a jagged breath and sat up. She had heard something. Her dog had run out of the room. She crawled out of bed and slowly pulled open her nightstand table. Grasping a small pistol, she crept into the hallway and stopped, peering into the bathroom adjacent to her bedroom. She continued moving towards the livingroom, where she heard something stop moving. She closed her eyes and curved with the wall as it turned into the room. There was her dog on the couch across the room, starring behind her with coal black eyes, unmoving and stiff. She gasped with relief and called her dog. He didn’t come. Instead, he growled a warning and ran into the bedroom. She turned cold and stiff. Slowly cocking her head, she turned to see a man in all black sitting at the kitchen table. She shivered.

“Hello Amber,” the man said in a cool voice, “how are you this evening?”
    
“I’m good except for the fact that I have a complete stranger sitting in my living room.”
    
“Oh Amber! Don’t you remember me?”
    
She thought. The tone had sounded oddly familiar, it was the kind that tickels your spine and gives you goose bumps. She had heard it before. It was in third grade. No, no one talks like that when they are seven. It had to be high school, when most of the boys had the voice of a man. Was it Billy Wexler from English class? No, his voice was deeper. Was it Rob Finkley? No, his voice was a little higher, kinder. That’s when it hit her.  Kyle Montgomery.  Her old boy friend.  She had loved him with all her heart and thought that he was the one she was going to spend the rest of her life with until she saw him making out with her best friend Cindy.  When she confronted him, he denyed it, but she knew it was him.  She didn’t talk to him for the rest of high school. 

     “Yes dear, it’s me.”

     “What are you doing here?  What do you want?”

     “Do you love me?”

      “What?” Amber gasped.  She felt like a big ball had hit her smack in the stomach.  Every breath she drew was taxing.  She didn’t know what to say.

     “You heard me!” Kyle stood and started to stalk over to her, but stopped.  “I said do you love me?”  He pulled of his black hood and starred at her with icey eyes and a taught face.

     “Kyle, it’s been such a long time.  I’ve moved on.  I don’t think about you anymore and whenever I do, it is full of pain and hatred.  You BROKE my heart!  I did love you Kyle, but not anymore.”

     Amber stopped talking.  She could see his expression change from deep remorse to bubbling anger.  He just stood there and stared at her.  Amber held her breath and tried to look as though she was not scared and wouldn’t back down when inside, the fear was nawing at her heart. 

     A small smirk crossed Kyle’s face.  It was once the look that had made Amber weak at ther knees, but now, it made her shake with fear.

     ”You never were the kind to be scared Amber.  You always stood firm for what you believed and I admire that.  Even in my presence, when you can sense that I am not happy, you have the guts to slap me in the face and tell me that you have not thought about me as I have about you.  You are strong.  I have and always will love you.”

     “Please Kyle, don’t ask me to try to love you back or give you another shot.  I will admit, I kept loving you for the rest of junior year, but it’s been years since then!  I have a new love.  His name is Ray.  He is very kind and funny, just like you were, except he is faithful.  You had your chance and you blew it.”

     Kyle’s face looked exactly the same, but his eyes had changed.  They were all glassy, as if he wanted to cry.  Then the water slowly pooled away from the surface to show hate.  He reached his right arm into the left side of his cloak.

     “If I can’t have you…”

     His voice was deep and cool, icey and crippling.  He pulled out a sharp knife and smiled a big, wide, creapy smile.

     “… then no one can!”

* ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! TO BE CONTINUED ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! * ! *

Let yourself sing like no one is listening

Let yourself dance like no one is watching

Let yourself love like no one cares

Let yourself laugh until your stomach hurts

Let yourself smile until your cheeks spaz

Let yourself live like there is no tomorrow

She died. She had been my best friend for 13 years and she died. I am hollow. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. We had had a fight. 2 weeks ago. I wouldn’t talk to her. The last thing I said to her was ‘I HATE YOU!!! I’M NEVER TALKING TO YOU AGAIN!!!’. I feel lost in a world of hate. The guilt and remorse is nawing at my heart with sharp claws. I can barely breath over the lump in my throat, and everytime I try, it is a painfull reminder of how she died without knowing that I was sorry for saying I hated her. Deep inside, I still loved her, she was still my best friend. I just needed some time to let the anger bubble off the surface so I could show her that I still cared. Now she will never know, and I am left to feel the pain and suffering of not forgiving.

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Yeah, and bouts dem shoes girl, you gots to get dem!

When ya wear dem, dang girl, ya looks like a rich girl from da rich houses yo!

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